Night Vision Goggles » Military

A joke for the military. Will you enjoy it?

Sun, 02 May 2010 22:36:27 +0000

God Bless yall.

You know that you have been in Iraq too long when…

1. You call the barracks home.

2. The girl that was a 2 is now a 5.

3. You use words like “roger”, “negative”, and “say again” in normal
conversation.

4. You go home for vacation.

5. The girl with the hairy legs and upper lip is the hot one.

6. Card board boxes are your desk.

7. You’re over 20 years old and sleeping in a bunk bed.

8. You buy a DVD with 5 movies on it for $5 and feel like you got
ripped
off.

9. You don’t pause your game because of mortars.

10. You lose weight because “I just can’t eat that again.”

11. You never know what day it is.

12. Getting a good meal involves a quarter-mile hike.

13. You get called a hippie because your hair is 1 inch long.

14. You’re happy when it’s ONLY 110 degrees.

15. Going to the bathroom involves shoes, a flashlight, and body armor.

16. Seeing a tank roll past is no longer cool.

17. All your clothes look the same.

18. You don’t fix the hole in the crotch of your pants because “it’s
good ventilation.”

19. You walk into a store with a rifle and nobody cares.

20. Your family knows what’s going on before you do.

21. Everything you own fits in a 3 foot by 3 foot area.

22. 80 degrees is cold.

23. A man in a dress doesn’t seem wierd.

24. Good sleep is 5 hours.

25. Someone gets shot and you’re mad because now the phones will be
down.

26. You’ve read more books in 3 months than you did in the rest of your
life.

27. You’re so bored that you hope someone will start shooting at you
today.

28. You can’t pronounce your interpreter’s name, so you call him “Bob”.

29. You wish that the guy you’re searching ONLY had B.O.

30. You hear a boom and you know if it was a mortar or a rocket.

31. After almost being hit by a mortar, you and your buddy start
laughing.

32. Half of the people you meet are named “Muhammed” or “Ali.”

33. You catch three of your buddies watching “The Notebook”, and
without
making fun of them, you sit down and watch.

34. You shower with shoes on.

35. You’re so bored that you don’t stop your buddy from telling a story
that you’ve already heard 10 times this week.

36. The snoring around you is “soothing”.

37. Listening to the radio is less important than watching the fly
strip.

38. The mouse in your area is now a pet.

39. You buy Gold Bond powder in bulk.

40. You can tell the difference between American and Iraqi Pepsi.

41. You hear a familiar rap song, but you don’t understand the words.

42. You bet on when and where the next rocket will hit.

43. You feel naked without your rifle.

44. You buy a Rolex that’s not a Rolex on purpose.

45. You’re happy because you get to shoot at a tailgater.

46. Your favorite food is Cup ‘O Noodle.

47. You haven’t seen a cloud in months.

48. Your buddies help shave each other’s backs.

49. You dream in night vision.

50. The last time you were home you didn’t have kids.

51. All you see are trash drifts instead of snow drifts.

52. If you have ever said, “It’s not that bad here.”

53. Farting is a contest.

54. Everyone you don’t know calls you “Mister”.

55. You don’t notice the 40 lbs of body armor anymore.

56. You know what a “Hesco” is.

57. Privacy is a sheet.

58. You see an E-7 working.

59. A plate that holds food is the “hook-up”.

60. You dress up for Halloween in your normal clothes.

61. You spend large sums of money to buy your favorite TV shows on DVD.

62. You rely on the food you get in packages you get from home for
survival.

63. All your white socks are now tan.

64. You go to the Port-O-John to get away from the smell outside.

65. You wear your clothes for four days to save on wash time.

66. You know your friends by smell.

67. The sight of a man’s naked but is no longer alarming.

68. You have ever yelled, “Who took the last can of Beanie-Weenies?”

69. You don’t need an interpreter to understand your interpreter.

70. You will put your life on the line to get a good picture.

71. You buy an Airsoft pistol because the Army won’t give you a real
one.

72. You have huge speakers that you never use.

73. Your wife asks you what time it is there and you answer,
“Twenty-one
hundred.”

74. You really would kill for Burger King.

75. The last forest you were in was a camo net.

76. You set booby traps for the foxes in your area.

77. You take bets on what gridline the next IED will explode.

78. When it feels good to patrol the MSR just to get off the FOB.
I know it’s kind of long, but the longer, the longer your laughter, I hope.
A few of you are right about this joke. I questioned whether or not to post it, being that some of it is sad. My Major friend in the Marines asked me to, so I did.

Is it probable that I will become a detective or SWAT w/ military experience and college credits?

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 22:36:26 +0000

I am a United States Marine Corps Reservist, I get off active duty and will check in to my reserve unit this summer. I will be 21 years old with 24 college credits and i’ve earned 21 transferrable college credits while in the marine corps. I want to know how quickly can i become a detective or swat member with 45 college credits(just different courses not involved with criminal justice), military experience, and a clean background. I plan to work for the Dallas, TX police department. So is it possible to become detective without a degree and how long would it take. Also can police officers bring their own gear(face mask, ballistic shields, night vision monoculars) while patrolling?

Will La Raza & Activists for illegals Mar 21 demand the Military Helicopters to Patrol Border are not needed?

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:37:25 +0000

Texas Gov. Rick Perry today ordered military helicopters dispatched to the Rio Grande, even as Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said she would ‘consider’ the governor’s request to use predator drones as sentinels along the border, 1200 WOAI news reports.

OH-58 and UH-72 Lakota helicopters are part of the first phase of the governor’s ‘spillover violence contingency plan,’ and will be based between Brownsville and El Paso to observe the entire border area. Perry said the exact base of operations will not be disclosed for security reasons.

“As we contin

ue to increase our resources and personnel along the border to combat the threat of spillover violence, we are deploying multiple Texas Military Forces helicopters to the Texas-Mexico border to increase aerial surveillance,” Perry said.

The choppers include night vision technology, and a high powered illumination system called ‘night sun,’ which can brighten up any desolate stretch of border brush land.

Perry is also asking for 1,000 National Guardsmen to support civilian law enforcement efforts to enhance border security.

Perry stepped up his demand for personnel and manpower following the murder of two US Consulate employees in Juarez last weekend.http://radio.woai.com/cc-common/news/sections/newsarticle.html?feed=119078&article=6891291
Will La Raza & Activists for illegals Mar 21 demand the Military Helicopters to Patrol Border are not needed and as La Raza always says the US-MEX border is one of the safest places on earth ? How will and what will La Raza say Mar 21 about Military Helicopters in their Southwest ?

Why Do People Want Military Binoculars?

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 22:35:47 +0000

To the typical person, military binoculars seem like a useless frivolity. Why spend hundreds if not thousands more on a product that does the exact same thing as its cheaper counterparts? This criticism is especially ripe in today’s economy. With high unemployment and stagnant wages, it seems that buying an expensive pair of binoculars is a case of conspicuous consumption.

Remember, binoculars have many moving parts. The lenses are typically brittle. And if you’re outdoors hunting or bird-watching, it wouldn’t be out of the question for you to accidentally drop some equipment. Durability is especially important because wear-and-tear is just a fact of life in these type of conditions. And military equipment is famed for its ruggedness. After all, it is designed to function under battle conditions. So buying a pair of military binoculars can in many ways be a way to save money. If you buy a cheap pair, it might only last a year or two if you are constantly putting it in stressful conditions. Why not buy something that cost several times as much but last you a life time?

Also, this type of equipment tends to have many features that aren’t typically available on regular models. For one, magnification tends to be extremely strong. And many have night vision capabilities. This is especially important for people who like to hunt at night.

Military binoculars seem like a waste of money. For most people this is probably true. They cost several times as much as just a regular pair. But for some hobbyists, they are a great investment.

?

Want to learn more? Read more about military binoculars for bird watching and other possible uses.

This is a good one!!! Military qualities of a peni*.?

Sun, 25 Apr 2010 22:39:08 +0000

Military qualities of the Pen*s?
1. It salutes deserving people
2. It conquers Virginland
3. It marches trough thick jungle
4. Enters any cavern
5. Fires any base
6. Enters any wet land with or without boots
7. Kicks as hard as he can
8. Shoots as far as possible in night vision mode
9. Not afraid of tear gas or floods
10.Fights till last drop
11. Lands without parachute
12. Retrieves and makes him small after mission accomplished

Does anyone have Soviet era Military optics, Bayonets, Swords?

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 22:39:52 +0000

I collect Soviet militaria, NO uniforms – caps-hats-boots. Only HARDWARE Stuff – Bayonets, Officers Daggers, Fighting Knives, Swords, Posters, Manuals, Optics: Binoculars, Day & Night vision weapons scopes, Training & survival equiptment, Inert ordnance, ect.

Items MUST be ORIGINAL SOVIET MILITARY ISSUE

Thanks in advance!

what do you think of the helmets issued to the military could they be improved if so how?

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 22:36:37 +0000

i am doing a A level peice on communication devices and i wondered if communication devices could be built into helmets in the future. E.G GPS, night vision

when did the special forces branch of the US military begin and what sort of activities did they do?

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 22:45:40 +0000

did they have special weapons and equipment like the SF groups of today? i mean, not that they had night vision but did they have anything specific to their corps that was “special”.

What kind of cooling applications exist for military use ?

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 22:37:09 +0000

What I mean is following…. I wonder what kind of systems the military uses to cool down equipment, soldiers, medicine, plasma, etc…. and what are the challanges they face…. at google I found some, but I’m interested in knowing their real needs of cooling (navy, army, air force, gendarmerie, police, etc…) and challenges they face today. Is passive cooling enought or do they need active cooling… I’m asking about the military use because they normally look ahead and have harder or bigger challenges (environmental conditions, etc….) and later it will be used by civils.

What cooling technologies are used today by the military ? For example, in the communication sector (radars, radio transmitters, etc… they use thermelectric tecnology), in the electronic cooling sector they use vapous compression, in the night vision equipments they use stirling cycle to achieve ultra low cryogenic temperatures…. etc…. I’m lookinkg for answer that cover lots of application fields

Is there a website where you can buy cheap equipment from the military bases?

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 22:40:53 +0000

I’m trying to find some night vision goggles, I’ve heard there’s a discount website associated with a US military base where you can buy them cheap. thanks for any help.